Plus fort que jamais = More Stronger than ever before .. 2013

It has been a while since I heard your voice . It has been a while since I saw your smile . It has been a while since I heard your laugh . It has been a while since I felt your touch.. The time passes and it is already the month of May . Each time the phone rings I think that it just may be you. . The idea of not hearing , seeing or feeling of you makes my heart grow ever more impatient. . Your letters become my lover who thus goes to bed with me each night . Your pictures are my reassurance that you love me ever more ,, I wait to hear see and feel your presence to fill the void that has overtaken my spirit , but my love for you grows and grows like a breath of Spring that awakens my dormant slumber. Each time that the day comes to an end I re-live our last moment together and yearn for another chance to hear your voice , see your smile, hear your laugh ,and feel your touch.. As the time clicks by and the numbers change I anticapate that liberated moment that will unleash a rush of exctasy of you and me finally as one .Our future slowly unfolds as the beginning becomes visible to the naked eye ,, our future ,, all the dreams that we have dreamed of are now taking shape .As my phone rings I see your face as the image that let's me know that ,, yes you are there and always will. The seperation of us has only forged a union of you and me to become inseperable. The songs on the radio sing your songs as I listen to every word that you sing to me. My love , your love , our love is " Plus fort que jamais which says More stronger than ever before....

J .F M. ,, S P B L M A .

This morning I awoke ,  thinking of you, my awakening was of excitement and it showed in many ways . If you had been there you would have been witness to this. My mind was and always has been set on you...

You make me shiver with delight and I almost loose control . I will never hurt or leave you for we are less without one another. I wait in anticapation to hear you speak to listen to you laugh ,, and to wipe your tears. . I have crossed the ways to see you and each time is like a new beginning , like fresh dew on the morning clover.Our love is pure and cannot be blemished by the outside World,

 As we speak on the phone the time goes all so quickly,, we discuss the next day and time of our next rendez-vous on the phone,, when the next letter will be sent and when it shall arrive,,like the photos we send to each other.., a souvenir of what our life has become. I love you and it shows in every way you say , and I feel the same ,, the distance apart cannot defeat us ,, but only make it stronger ,, our life in Miami-Montréal is about to begin , I look at your photos clutched in my hand and place them on the sink as I prepare to ,,,..The distractions that may leerk are harmless and have no power over us ,, only if we give them creedence and attention,, so I say this day " Just finished masturbating so please Bitches leave me alone .....

M to B = B to M

  It started with an Ad , an A the first letter of the  "alpha " bet ,  my intuition got the best of me , so I read and then responded.. From the hills of Kentucky to the Island of Montréal , the route had been traced ,, your eyes to my smile . The words of ink flowed easily as each one of us stated our desires and fears our hopes and wishes.  Pictures of you became more abundant and my images on paper read a story of where and with who as you could begin to follow me somewhat on my outings of night. After a period of time we decided to voice our opinions and feelings of a vocal nature. A song was written and thus one for you,, and one for me. A short verse would be heard on the phone ,, and after laughter would follow. We knew that this was no longer just a beginning but a continuation of what would follow. We spoke of family and friends, of the past that brought us now together. You say that we must build on what we have and your life is to grow old together. I express my desire to build a bond of until death do us part.  The walls of family open up and now your Grandmother has become part of our world , as my friends take note of who and how you are. A meeting of minds has been set for us to meet. Plans are made as a frebility of excitement fills the air , the first effort does not a take-off as the soothsayers don their hats of deceit . Deception and disappointment is felt on both sides ,, time goes by as days are counted and then renewed .  After a time dates are chosen and  we set the motion into a clockwork timetable. From air to taxi to a Hotel we finally meet . Your eyes to my smile penetrate the glass that tries to be a shield but to no avail. Words flow easily as each one jockeys for a position . The time speeds by too quickly and we part but promise to come again , thoughts race rapidly in my mind of you as you leave ,, I close my eyes to sleep so that a new day will start once again ,, I walk the road as the fall colours of the trees blanket the hillsides as the asphalt paves my way to you. We smile and laugh and relish the thought that this is meant to be ,, after all this time we say good-bye ,, the leaves of the trees now become less apparent and prepare for my departure , my return will be a welcome blanket of  white.  The M to B of  B to M . is now integrated as one with the individuality of us both .. Love has ordained us with his/her blessing .It is now our turn to return the favour.

Nothing is Stopping Us Now

Jamie, The wind carries with it sometimes seeds of doubt. These seeds cannot grow but with the assistance of  Mankind. The demon seeds spinning schemes shall not prevail, for I shall neither plant or carefore or water such a thought , for this thought is not a friend of mine . The distance of us is a reality but what I feel and believe is that there will be doubts and whispers of weakness of seedlings ,, but my LOVE for you is like a seed that grows and places its roots steadily and nourishes itself from the fertilizers of your unquestionable LOVE for me . . I shall water thee with great affection and help you grow along by my side . I will tend to my garden very closely. And when the time comes to bloom I shall burst of much profusion . I will flower you with my LOVE and you shall whiff of the parfums that I shall give for all to know that Nothing is Stopping Us Now.. Michael Banks , 3 Juillet 2012

Jamie writes to say :I Have Some Great News !!

As I read your letters from the beginning a sense of anticapation arises. Our history started oh so quietly and has now grown quietly there. Your words of love seep into my mind as I remember of the first time I saw your photo there so innocently there . My Love , Babe ,Love Dove are now your words of seduction. I lose all control of my emotions as I allow your terms of AMOUR take charge and lead the way. Our conversations of print and phone are now wanted more then ever before. We both wait anxiously to see , to hear what the next words will say and how the voice will read. I ride the stars of brightness as you light the way to our next beginning . Montréal is on the horizon as we prepare to embark on our final destination. You announce that your time of place is almost over and your change of situation is about to come to another avenue of change. Your smile is almost there as you throw a three pointer of excitement ! I applaud your sureness as you move across the way to score another mark of , xoxoxox !! We have built our trust of each other and let no person lead us not,,, the Ink has dried as we both join hands to travel on this voyage together , you have scored a goal once again into the net,, I applaud your talent of how to. The cry of " love you always " and " with all my heart "becomes your anthem to me as I accept your words and you say " I have some great news "

New Year, New Adventures , New Hope , New Beginnings

The New Year has started its course and anticapating a change has become a theme of hope ! Once was is no longer a sure bet , I withdraw from the Table of Chance as I have been dealt a bad hand of false honesty. You sat cross from me and bluffed your way through , I thought you were playing with me ,, not against me, I lent you my hand outstretched , lest I leave my head in the stars to daydream of what could have been. You said that you were not up for game playing but you play well , you hid your hand and I fell for your prowness ! You won this round but I have quit the table of pseudo- trust , you shall not have me to play again ,, I will move on to the next table , the Table of Honesty, I have been there before, I am a life long member. You were there but for a moment, you tried to bluff and say your cards were strong, but I knew better, you thought short, I went long. I am still in the game, I play to win ,, my card of Values is still the highest card that beats your Ace of lies and deception. The dealer aks me if I want to play another round, I look and see those new players of Trust anxiously awaiting to play, they ask for one chance to show their hand ! The cards are dealt once again , your cards have no value ,, I play to win , I smile as the person across from me says I lay my cards of Hope down to you Michael I want to be your new beginnings !!

Deception ,Distrust, and Dilemma

You say you love me and I want to believe, my feelings for you have been written in your book of wants. The mistrust that hovers over me is my Waterloo. The loss of heightened anticipation has gone to sleep only to wake up at another time another moment ! How do you know what love is ? Is it but a moment or is it real ? When your young and in love you run the gamut of yes to-day maybe forever and then its over ! My degree of trust has gone by the wayside as the stream carries coded messages of what I felt long ago ! You open the door and walk outside towards me to attest of my willingness to embark into unchartered waters. As the winds pick up briskly I turn my mind to the time when things were less blurred and love was carefree. My eyes turn to you as I want to be able to say yes ! My mefiance leads the way as I break away from your lack of authenticity. The unseperables now walk in different directions unable to find there way back to what they had ! The uneasiness of me becomes apparent as I try to decode what you say and what it means. Love has no desire to stay so slowly meanders towards the lighthouse as the beacon of hope diminishes . The Deception of my distrust has become a dead-end a dilemma .

I DECLARE MY LOVE !

You make me feel happy and there are moments that I am delirious ! I think of you often, the silent moments are the most lingering. When you touch me I harden and a rush goes through me like a gush of a geyser . My eyes fixate on you as you surround your presence . Vulnerability keeps me from ceding to your whims of wants ! You play the game well, not showing your hand , a bluff in store maybe. I keep my hand close to my chest as I see the reflections of your desires in the mirror. The songs of love that we would share linger and the beat of there sound vibrates continuosly. Who makes the first move , the touch of your skin permeates to mine and I shiver as the force of you creates osmosis like tendacies. I back away to relieve myself of your strength before that I should succomb to your moment of selfish pleasure. I stay in your sphere of direction knowing that the longer I am in front of you the less will I shall have to say no. Why not let me go to live a montonous blasé life of love lost to never experience again. You say you love me and want to say that I am yours. How shall I know that this is love and you are real ? Ladies and Gentleman, Madames et Messieurs I DECLARE MY LOVE !

JAMIE equals J'AIME

The first time I saw of you , I knew that something inside wanted to know more. My words of introduction slowly traced a line that would lead me to you ! I tread slowly towards you as I see your presence. My eyes close as I imagine you prance across the field as the soccer ball flies through the air ! The basketball glides through the hoop, and the weights from the gym cut through the dampness of the air left from another work-out. The physical you bristles as the sweat rolls down your torso after you leave the yard. I read your letter of request as you shyly inquire about emotions and relationships. The wrong path you took was only a detour of human error , a moment of distress and wrongdoing. You now turn the page to write a new chapter, our meeting sparks a new beginning of the now .My pain of distrust and deception has left scars but you understand as we decide to draw lines that lead us to chance ! The Ducks ,the Fighting Irish becomes our battle cry as we share our Victories and losses but remain united to the final hour. I read the words you sent about Mothers on Mothers Day, your sensitivity is a shining example of who you are, my thoughts linger on to the last word that you write. Your photos speak of you as your eyes long to say Bonjour ! I write this court metrage on the film of us and the trek that we shall embark upon. Jamie,to you I say " Je suis au rendez-vous." Jamie equals J'aime.

ABSENCE ABSINTHE

I have been away , can't really say where, there were no indications or signs, there seemed to be no sign of life but my thoughts ! My mind brought you into focus , as your face dawned the horizon. I longed that you were next to me but to no avail . Maybe it was not to be, another time and another place ! I walked awhile and saw no one ! Everything seemed to be colourless and lifeless, where was I and who brought me here ! Hallucinations danced in my head as the pounding of inner drums reached a crescendo ! The throbbing of my head seemed to diminish as I quickened my pace towards what seemed to be a hill of brush. My legs no longer supported me as I fell to the ground. I fell into a deep sleep once again. The winds of convience swept me up and carried me to higher ground ! I longed to write and then waited for your words to no avail ! Your last letter heightened my clarity of longing, warmed by your affect. The mystery of you and where I was only lowered my spirits. Green was the colour that appeared as I became sodden as your benumbed eyes could only watch with sadness my descent from on high ! My glass was empty as I my mind thirsted from absence absinthe !

Florence

Blonde is her hair, her eyes like precious stones that have yet to be worn. As she walks across the room the light followers her as she arrives to her final destination.

AMOUR

That night I walked in with a bit of a stumble but all yet so graceful ! Your eyes caught mine and I knew that this was the beginning of the end. I may have met my match with your smile and eyes that challenge my stare of curiousness. You ask me my name and I respond only to learn later that we met before. My coldness of winter left you unprepared for my response. This time our meeting was southern winds with northern kool. I sat down and you decided to follow only to say that you would return. Minutes passed and once again you reappeared to prepare the groundwork for yet a continued stance. As the time darkend you asked me to escort you to another room. The songs played as you did your dance and showed your wares, as the songs came to an end I hurriedly left to say I would come again, I did and now the rest has unfolded. Your charm of looks and physique wane with time as I stay away until your gone and then once again you return but I am there in my sleep. I feel your phsique on mine as you decide that I am yours, I stay until you fall asleep and then undue my physical being from you. The rise of the sun awakens me and I leave for work once again. I lose my time with Florence as to pass the time from you only to return hoping you're not there . I get along without you very well AMOUR.

Demon Seed, Spinning Schemes

Mefiance, is the word that I carry on my shoulder. I cannot trust you , don't say another word. You should be happy that I am giving you another chance. I am warning you get rid of those losers or it will costs you ! Your beauty is a fleet of a moment of a flash , I cannot remember the look of love, is that a glint in your eye ? Wipe that smirk of your face! You think that I am like a coat, you can put on when you need to and then put it back in the closet when your done. Your ways of seduction is wanning as I realize that you are just another suitor. Ah how I become immune to your words of convience , confident that you are to try again. I shall not ask for any more but I will not settle for any less ! What you bring to the table of conversation is but words that have lost there panache . Your level of credibility is below sea level. If you do not change you will need a life saver. I get along without you very well thinking of you when I have nothing better to do ! I thought I could trust you, that was your strong point. I don't play games where love is concerned. Allusion I apologize for taking advantage of our friendship , you saw it all and I would not listen. Your veil of hidden agendas has been raised Demon Seed Spinning schemes.

Go Bleu Blanc Rouge

The Ice awaits the moment of the end, for there will be a vainquer to-night. The teams prepare to do battle as the crowd begins to arrive. The nervousness of each player is felt as they follow in a line to touch the Ice. The lines have been drawn as the skates trace their identity of each player.The songs have been sung, the hands have clapped and the voices bellow with cheer. The music from the Organ penetrates the hollow walls of the arena. Each player takes his turn to leave his mark as the Bleu Blanc Rouge seems to cover the Ice as the Net tenders stand on guard for them. The sticks seem to draw aerial designs in the air like modern sculptures. As the skates cut into the Ice they leave there sketches on the surface. Watching the players skate is like a choreagraphie of modern dance. The outcome is yet to be known but there will be a victor, celebrations will reign until the next battle and the defeated shall have to wait for another day , another time. Go Bleu Blanc Rouge.

Spring is In the Air,Magic everywhere.

The trees are preparing their first statements of colour as the birds practice their vocals to announce the arrival of Spring. The sky paints a streak across the way for all to see. Just a dream, or is it a fantasy. My dreams are true as I believe they do. With anticipation I welcome all that there is to see. You and me are meant to be as the moon glows so bright and the shadow of our smiles light up the night. Love stretches its hands across the way finding suitors that may be of reason and desire. The hidden allure of you initates the awakening of quite murmurs. The dream of you is a dream come true. Am I fool to want you and all that you bring. I know that I walk too fast , the nights I drive too fast, we do laugh a lot.There are times that I want you too leave,I could say no but I cannot explain. I am thinking I will never let you go and that seems beautiful I know the wonder of it all. Ah in the crowd of the maddening I hear your voice.Spring is In the Air, Magic everywhere.

Susan et Raymond

The meaning of Friendship is what we are all about. Our chosen family that is a testament to all of us who exist on this earth. Many are present but few are those who leave an everlasting touch. Susan and Raymond came into my life as guests and left as dear friends that elevated to a member of my family, the chosen ones. Every smile and laughter was always genuine, her eyes would light up as she told a story, and we would all laugh and Raymond would be by her side as we would share our histories of travel, pets and our next adventure. Susan would immediately make you feel a part of the story and include you as a major actor. Habits are made to be broken but every visit was more than that,, a welcome warmth that was felt throughout Bonaparte. They both kept their child like spirit of being spontaneous and adventurous. We would ask when was their next voyage going to be elated as if just maybe we could find the time to go along. Susan et Raymond have left their mark on us for toujours. An emptiness has taken place as she has decided to take another trip, this time without us ,, but her presence is entirely there. Melancoly is at the door waiting to be invited. I continue to live as Susan would want and I continue to testify of her good works and say merci to Raymond for having shared a person of such high calibre. We shall never forget about the sincerity and human kindness of Susan. The Angels above have sounded the trumpets to announce the coronation of yet another special person Susan. Ladies and gentleman , Montréal and I raise my glass to Susan et Raymond.

Vert is the colour of your eyes

The first time was then as your smile asked to be discovered. I turned away only but to feel your eyes on mine. Vert is the colour of your eyes. The nature of the sensation is about to blossom as the winds carry your message of want. You ask me the question of your answer that you already know. I await impatiently of the photos of your existence torso nu. The words that we share prepare the meeting of the physical, as you count the time passed and what lies ahead­. The writing of your words leaves a hushed moment for a stamp that awaits the letter to send. You say "Do not be Afraid" The anticipation is grand as I can only imagine what lies aHEAD. The Babyboy replies after a letter of tardiness arrives, the belated birthday card sent by Michael refused by the authorities. Vert is the colour of your eyes. "Tell me what you like" you say, I dance from the floor as the music penetrates my body , I imagine you hiding behind the bush so to speak as I turn your every word upside down.My eyes once again analize each live picture you show me. I raise the curtain as you take the stage to show me all, my eyes rivet at your nakedness as the reflection of your shadow glimmers across my black attire. I think and feel of every movement that you make and I ask you not to stop. A rush of energy surges as we both come. Vert is the colour of your eyes.

Ct. Negroni

Your smell haunts me even before you arrive.. The colour of your wardrobe entices me to never forsake thee. I am a passionate addict of your makeup and knowingly you come on to me seeing that I will not leave but stay to the end . There is no secret of mine that I cannot share with you. Voices of others become a part of our surroundings. The DJ plays the latest house music as I begin to feel your potent ora of taste 1/3 gin.. As the night starts I smile and welcome you once again and again. Your accomplice smiles as I enjoy your everlonging hold on me. I decide that I will not leave you just yet. I have yet to tell you of my latest trite. I love the way you make me feel and when I have you in my hand I do not want it to end 1/3 dry vermouth. When I feel empty you fill me up once again. As the night advances the colour of your attire seems pale as I become intoxicated by your charm. Your faithful servant is always there to make sure that I leave not just yet. You know that we will always be inseperable and our pact is until death then we part. Your poison is my medicine of destruction 1/3 Campari. My wish is to leave you but your grip on me is ever so strong. The blackouts of my mind are yours to answer as you are my witness. I love you and loathe you with a nonchalant of passion yet your ways with me are pleasingly wicked. I shall return to see you once again Ct. Negroni.

Written Words

Alpha Dog, Alpha Male , Alpha Wolf, = socially dominant member of a group,, confident and assured of himself.. As he walks around his territory his lair of homies lower their heads as he passes by. He is the ACE and they understand. The pecking order is never in doubt by them. Welcome to his Castles called the comfort zone. To get in you must know the pass word : WRITTEN WORDS. He wears a mask that is interchangeable for the Dog,the Male ,the Wolf. I was there once but for a short time even went to the top of the mountain that was rumored to be there.Beware of the platitudes placed at your feet. How sadistic of the once grievley hurt once upon a time to return to me the favour.Beware of those who hide behind the word SELFISH and SCARED which becomes his Armour, shield, sword in the ring of life.A layer of the Alpha crumbles , The fall has been sudden and abrupt for me. I turn away from him and leave for the sands and cry " Victory, I choose to live, I choose LIFE.

The Gift of Life

I asked once I shall never ask again he says as he counts the 05/07 on the calendar the glorious day that Naomi and Bobby gave to the world this gift of life. He has drawn the attention of his fellow souls. Growing up he always knew that he would be special. The Lord Fauntleroy of Canada was to make his mark as a young manly lad. The locks of his hair would touch his shoulders as if his strength was there. From a early time people would fawn over him as he became of age. The young years my salade years when I was green always a Romantic. My eyes always curious and at any given moment a smile would break through to brighten the place where I would be. Humanity has been my focus of living and to this day the fevor is ever strong. The choices I have made have not always been the best and I have paid heavily. Love for him is éphémère a melancholy of a feeling. Black is the colour of his choice am I in a continual mourning process.? Lives lived died and has left a deep pain in his heart to never be forgotten. I am a reflection of the Taurus physically a picture of strength a contradiction of himself. This little boy lost in an adult world naive and vulnerable. My scorn is deadly and can last a lifetime, yet my eyes live for the beauty of life. The people of my chosen family are my universe I shall not forsake. I am me to you who know me, I live love and am proud, I asked once I shall never ask again.The Gift of Life.