Tend To Your Garden

As the time clips by and we see for a fleeting moment the hopes and dreams that are just out of our grasp, we then realize how much this very second counts for so much. I no longer think of what could be actually but more so my present state of a situation. I cannot project how it will be later as at this time I can only sustain my present awareness of how I am. The emotions have been put on a missle launch waiting for someone to press the button. The invasion of my most innerself has been pierced and now I am slowly loosing my strength. The SOS is not seen as my vision has been blurred by the constant bombardement of emptiness. The pain of deception has snatched the desire to explore like a thief in the night. I can only save myself from this destruction of unwanted battle grounds. The sirens are ringing alerting me to yet another wave of blitzkrieg. The scores of victims is countless and yet we seem to be oblivious to our often self inflicted wounds. I wait to see how high the toll rates will be. The only way to survive is take control of my situation as Alexandra Spaulding once said." Your going to want to tend your garden very closely."

Moribund

Sombre, noirceur, lifeless, what are we going to do? Many of us seem to be in a state of dispair as we see all around us the ever changing landscape. The news of people and yes friends losing their jobs, living quarters and lifestyles is becoming a daily illness. We all seem to be a witness of this state of despair. Stress has become a guarded enemy that follows each and everyone of us. The clouds announcing a storm seems to be hovering just above like a bride inwaiting. The pangs of painful and wrenching morose has now become the uninvited suitor. The sheer weight of all of this has left deep scars inside that may leave lasting wounds. Indeed we are unable to think clearly at this moment, sleeping has become a prison and even putting down words has no meaning of sense. The patient is being led away in a state of Moribund.

The Colours of the World.

After talking to a lovely couple ,she being asian and himself being white anglo saxon of british stock I felt that the times are ever so changing. A habit of mine is too read the New York Times and go through every section and then by curiousity I stop to look at the Wedding section. It is interesting to see that we as a people are gravitating towards more diversity as the world seems to be on each one of our doorsteps. The intermingling of cultures and ethnicity are becoming blurred. As I think back to my dating days I can remark that I was seeing different peoples of a cross section like a handmade quilt. This is most reassuring to see that we have as people have become less conscious about how love is meant to be sameness. Today less people stare at a racially mixed couple than only a few years ago. We as a society are more learned about the richness of difference and have embraced this newfound fabric of society. I for one believe that these changes are strong symbols that announce that we are breaking down barriers of culture and customs. This I feel is most positive as what is more stronger than a professed love for your loved one no matter where they are from or their beliefs. This message tells us that feelings for each other is far more powerful than rules of conformity. When I see people together of different stripes I break out often in a smile to acknowledge that how pleasing it is to see love conquring all. The evolution of mankind is contributing to paint a beautiful tapestry with the colours of the World.

Expectations ?

As the year 2009 unfirls before our eyes a refreshing breeze of tradewinds has begun to swirl and dance joyously about. The world listens attentively as spoken words begin to be heard. The eyes of a sea of people are all rivited toward the center of the universe. A silence engulfs the maze of peoples as they all try to be a witness to history. The chords of music jump about as though nymphs were trying to play hide and seek. Anticipation grows abounds as the word is finally spoken. Tears of joy drop as if the lands had been parched and needed to be drenched. The heavens open up as Angels blow their trumpets to the announcement that a new day has begun. The swelling of emotions can know longer be contained as an eruption of ectasy spills over the sides and continues to sweep everything in its path. The euphoria of the moment has taken on an allure of a worldwide tnusami. This promised moment had been predicted time before and now all are here to participate in the changing spirit of hope and new found energy to go forward. All eyes are on him but also ourselves as we say " Yes We Can ". The time is now and the Expectations ?

Annus Horribilis=Annus Mirabilis

Other than myself someone of Royal stature said at least one of these revered words in a speech. Ah las it indeed has been one of those years where there are events to be remembered and others to be forgotten. This period of the calendar year pushes one to reflect and wonder where it started and where will it end. Every year we hope to achieve more and accomplish yet another aspiring goal. As I look back on this year 2008 I had a chance to be away in other lands and experience behavourial patterns . This time away helped me to nuture my inner soul which had been badly battered by a man made inflicted storm. I seemed to be listless and without direction caught in the fog of a self propelled dilemma .Being away forced me to lay on the physcological couch and analyse layer by layer who ,why and when will it stop. The curtains in the room where flowing as if wanting to cradle me in my childhood state. I layed there knowing that only I could find the answers to open the door and get on with my responsibilities. After much contemplating of finger pointing I saw in the mirror a reflection of the guilty culprit. As he tried to escape I kept the key and refused to open the door. A familiar face indeed I remarked as he trembled and started to sweat. You shall not leave this place until we settle our score. As he paced the floor not knowing what to do nor say, I arose from my deep sleep and felt the tropic air blowing on my brow as the curtains wiped the sprinkles of water from my forehead. I then decided to go and take a walk along the boardwalk once again and watch as if the waves of the Ocean carried with them chapters of my last lived year and like a short film traces and images of myself seemed to reflect from the waters surface, indeed there were the difficult moments but also a year of wonderful had won the day. I continued to accompany the waves along as if we were partners of life. The sounds of whispering rang in my ears as a smile of joy became apparent I began to speak ever so softly, "Looking back on this year has been at times Annus Horribilis but since meeting you the trumpets roar of a reigning Annus Moribilis.

Chaos and the Human Spirit

I have been here in South Beach for awhile and it seems like the Cirque de Soleil which actually is here seems to follow. The morning sun rises and I walk briskly along the boardwalk as human souls walk, run and push baby carriages along the way. I observe through sun glasses the circus like atmosphere that parades along the boardwalk and ocean front. The sounds of faded music of I-Pods hardly diminishes the pounding waves from the ocean. Each one of us here has our agenda put out and up front. We take in the morning moistured air as a friendly welcome and quickly take note of the heightened activity that now joins the dispersed flock.The morning herd now begins to grow as more decide to join in. As I walk the ever changing sounds become more apparent as the vibrations of feet announce yet another soul. This much needed ritual of morning paces prepares me for a daunting day of once at work where to begin. I have been here before and once again nothing stays the same. All the actors have left the stage and now what remains are only the stage hands. My mind thought once again reminds me that I am stil here on the boardwalk and not yet at work. After a certain time this episode draws to a nigh. I now must face chaos and the human spirit.

My name is Geoff

My special friend.His eyes are childlike and painfully seek acceptance. The smile radiates across the club becoming an addiction. The laughter so innocent yet hiding a deeper secret. When he arrives you sence his presence,it is as if without him there is something lacking. His generosity is unmeasurable and at times almost a death wish. I observe nervously his every move and when out of sight too long I become anxious. It is hard not to love him but yet there are those who will suffocate him. Longing to be responsible for their happy moments has been a terrible price to pay.I feel his disappointment of the callous behaviour by his subjects.The songs that he sings are lived wounds and also healing messages. One can feel his warmth and tenderness yet it has cost him. As evening comes to a nigh and the sounds of the human species becomes a wimper everyone leaves a good-bye in every direction. There is Geoff and myself left in the midst of a room once filled but now empty. We hug and kiss and say tomorrow knowing that another night waits for us like a woman in waiting.I walk and let my shadow lead me to my destination knowing that soon my special friend will soon walk by my side as our shadows converse and his shadow will say to mine , My name is Geoff.