ACE=ALPHA DOG =EDDIE=EDWARD=MONARCH OF THE I

As I look across the horizon I feel his senses of tomorrow. I read his words of the violence. There is an underground current that is awash with carcasses. The deceit of what is happening and what the end result will be. The stalker is being stalked as the shadow of the darkness creeps ever so lightly with a snarly glee of delight.The homies have sowed the seeds of dissent and the crop is now ripe and what they have reaped has left its mark in a devasting way. The harvest is completed­. The dusk falls as the net slowly draws to a close.,,,, there is nowhere to hide or run as innocent victims preach their innocence with their code of silence which falls on deaf ears. Laying lifeless and demoralized survival skills are my only saving grace. The payoff is farfetched.Casualities are being counted as the toll of victims has yet to be assessed while the metal bars draw to a crashing halt.As each one watches from there prospective positions I realize that lines of all communication have been cut. The radios play no more,the television a hollow screen and visiting has come to a halt. The world turns as we stop in our tracks lifeless no one hears our cries. Disciplinary measures has become our tortured lover as she spews her venom of injustice on all that are summoned before her. I gaze as she stands statuesque with her crown alite and her arm of Liberty outstretched.As I stand before her in the accused box of rightousness I feel a sense of calm as the end is near and in sight. She asks cruelly "Announce your name and how do you plead"I reply with a long drawn breath stocially as I grasp the clover leaf and hold tight my shamrock announcing that I, Ace=Alpha Dog=Eddie=Edward=Monarch of The I

Alpha Male

A murmur of silence awakens my thoughts of you, the walk in the park as I observe the fallen leaves desperately clinging to the grass. I long for the moment to put my head on your chest as you sit there reading your book about the language of cranes. The times lived of your youth as an Alpha Dog ,, the urgence of the moment and the intensity of what was too happen next,, the bloodshed , the suffering, your survival and death within arms reach sitting next to you like an invited guest.The hollowness leaves a stark contrast to what you have become.Upon my return from walking I observe Magnolia asleep all the while jetting an eye at her carnirverous bone. Even the wind has taken a pause to rest as its sighs, the room seems colourless as I gaze across the way. Everything seems to have taken a cessation ,a temporary stop,the clocks become silent and oblivious to the hours. I sense your quieteness as you gently turn the pages with hardly a motion of movement. I cherish this listlessness of nonthinking, the incurosity of my mind has been put to rest. The intimacy between us together is such a truism. A smile breaks the serenityof my interior stillness, our eyes meet and recognize an obvious truth of what we feel within this tranquilled force of what we know without a spoken word being said. Alpha Male

2 Years To Go

As this holiday season comes upon us , we all have different feelings about how the year has been and what awaits us all in the New Year 2010. I look back for a glancing moment and realize that there have been wonderful and memorable episodes and chapters. Then there has also been the difficult unrehearsed roles that I have had to play on the stage of human disorder. I do not ask to be nominated for best male actor in a leading role. As I did not audition for the part I shall let those more apt take the bow at the curtain call. I have been glorified and defrocked all in the same year.. accomplishments appreciated by some and scorned by others,, yet as I contimplate the future I have but the luck of the Irish on my side. New acquaintences and new found friends have uplifted my spirits and put me on higher ground. I see beyond the hills whence comes my gratitude. Sharing of lives lived and new adventures to unfold has given me yet another reason to look forward to Christmas and New Years as a joyous occasion to share my humility in thanking each and everyone one of you for the role you play in my life on the stage of Earth. May your Christmas and New Years eclispe the profound spirit of human kindness and peace on Earth and good will to you all and yours. May your wish on that shining star of Bethleham guide you to where you want to go and who you endeavour to be. As someone dear to me stated,, " I have 2 years to go "

The Unknown

I turned the night in my bed as if my corpse was in a casket on an unguided ship cast in a storm of doubt ,, hesitation,,,,,,,,, everything is black inside and out. I feel lifeless and do not know if I am alive or is it just a dream.I have yet but a sense of starkness doubt that has taken its place. Hollow halls beckon me as if my soul no longer beats,,,, the will to find peace has fallen by the wayside.. I seem to be the only person invited to this reception of no return. I see nothing ,I feel nothing, my whole self has abandoned ship and left me to whither in this despair of emptiness. The emotional faucets have been turned off,, I am all alone and I am forced to accept that no one can help me . How did I end up on this course ? Youth, success, beauty,, I followed all the rules, read every instruction , followed the rules of the game ,consumed all the ingredients ,,,,,,what has happened to my spirit,,, I recognize nothing,, the paintings on the walls are of despair,,,,,,,, I arrive at the end of this dark and eery way and hesitate to continue and then an unrecognizable voice softly says welcome to "The Unkown"...

If You Only Knew

Here, now and thereafter,,, you have permeated the wall of no return, the choice has been made,,,I shall not depart from this urgency of the unknown that I desperately long for,, your words linger on ,, the intensity of your thrust weakens me,,, the foundations start to give way as I try to escape from the grasp of your awakening spirit,, you have left me defenseless as I search for a refuge,,,your forces have captured me as I am a willing prisoner,, I have fallen prey to your seductive whims,,, I feel your breath on my neck as you walk behind me taking a moment to verify the prize,, I say to you "what is this world coming to things are not the same anytime the hunter gets captured by the game " I set the trap and have fallen into your lair ,,,struggling to be free once again you put your arms around me and pierce the skin of my neck suddenly I become weak as you draw all life out of me as I slowly fall you then pick me up and lay me down and place your body on top of mine,,, you look into my eyes and I smile ,,,,, if you only knew.........

Annus Horribilis , Encore

As the leaves fall and the colours of the Canadian Thanksgiving give way to a November triste of greys and hollow feelings. Looking around me I observe the bland faces of certain peoples. After much obsevation the verdict is in. My family of friends are living hellish moments. Clara, Geoff, myself and others,we have experienced and are living these moments of anguish. Kindness is a heavy price to pay, but we are naive and as I say " the choices we made then,,we live the consequences now. The darkness has yet to englobe us completely, we galantly keep our chin up while building a wall to keep out all intruders. The notion that all is lost is but a fleeting thought quickly extinguished by my perserverance. The storm has ravaged our human landscape leaving collateral damage in view. The meaning of " You are going to want to tend your garden very closely"becomes ever so pertinent. The look of Geoff as I see in his eyes leaves me with a sense of hope as we shall overcome this episode of the unknown moment. The clouds will dissapate and the blueness of the horizon will prevail leaving us all with good fortune. I myself shall not change my ways but rest assured that a lesson has been learned. In the upcoming seance " the luck of the Irish "has become the battle cry. My chosen family has suffered but we become stronger and appreciate the fondness of the other, for without each other there is no reason. Yes this has left deep wounds yet our scars will heal. I look up to the sky and clutch a special prayer card given to me recently and say "It has been an Annus Horribilis " now let the games begin. Merci for one and all my chosen family and to you,,Alpha Dog

If You Wish Upon a Star

The sky to-day is blue and neary a star insight. I dance across the clouds as Angels nearby are playing hide-and-seek. I lazily at one point rest my head on your torso and close my eyes as you slowly brush your fingers on my skin. In the near distant I hear the gigiling of the Angels as they blushingly scamper to hide behind a wall of condensation. After a moment I decide to rise and stretch out my arms and in front of me standing is my sister who I had not seen after her passing. I start to cry as tears of joy stream down my face. She tells me that she is well and that she has been decorating heavenly rooms for newly arrived clients. Instead of taking a vacation she had sent me a visitors pass for a few days but warned me that I must not overstay my welcome as my name has not even been put on the waiting list as a future residant. I gaze into her eyes and can see that aging has not taken its toll at all. I ask many questions to catch up on her news and also she inquires about how are parents doing. Michelle tells me that she must leave soon as there is choir practice for the Angels and their is one song that she is practicing and will sing it to me later in the day. We leave our seperate ways promising each other that at nightfall we shall once again be together. I decide to take a walk across the heavens and I gaze across an endless stream of pearly whites that seems to never stop. After walking for what seemed to be forever we decided to lay our heads on a passing cloud and closed our eyes. I then heard rumbling in the background and to my amazement I saw passers by who I seemed to recognize but neither did they stop but waved looking happy and at peace, I felt a warmth engulf me something that I never felt before, I said to myself is this what the holy spirit feels like as the last person went by. I then realized that time had quickly gone by and I did not want to miss seeing Michelle again. Upon my return I saw all the Angels grouped together and the trumpets started to blare and stars started to eclat everywhere. It was like witnessing fireworks but even more impressive. They started to hum and then she stepped away and stood in front of me once again and started to sing these words " If You wish upon a star, I will bring it where you are, if you want me too,I will. Once again tears rolled down my cheeks as she radiantly smiled and kept singing. I am now back home but every time time I look up at the sky I hear her singing once again, " If You Wish Upon a Star .