ACE=ALPHA DOG =EDDIE=EDWARD=MONARCH OF THE I

As I look across the horizon I feel his senses of tomorrow. I read his words of the violence. There is an underground current that is awash with carcasses. The deceit of what is happening and what the end result will be. The stalker is being stalked as the shadow of the darkness creeps ever so lightly with a snarly glee of delight.The homies have sowed the seeds of dissent and the crop is now ripe and what they have reaped has left its mark in a devasting way. The harvest is completed­. The dusk falls as the net slowly draws to a close.,,,, there is nowhere to hide or run as innocent victims preach their innocence with their code of silence which falls on deaf ears. Laying lifeless and demoralized survival skills are my only saving grace. The payoff is farfetched.Casualities are being counted as the toll of victims has yet to be assessed while the metal bars draw to a crashing halt.As each one watches from there prospective positions I realize that lines of all communication have been cut. The radios play no more,the television a hollow screen and visiting has come to a halt. The world turns as we stop in our tracks lifeless no one hears our cries. Disciplinary measures has become our tortured lover as she spews her venom of injustice on all that are summoned before her. I gaze as she stands statuesque with her crown alite and her arm of Liberty outstretched.As I stand before her in the accused box of rightousness I feel a sense of calm as the end is near and in sight. She asks cruelly "Announce your name and how do you plead"I reply with a long drawn breath stocially as I grasp the clover leaf and hold tight my shamrock announcing that I, Ace=Alpha Dog=Eddie=Edward=Monarch of The I

Alpha Male

A murmur of silence awakens my thoughts of you, the walk in the park as I observe the fallen leaves desperately clinging to the grass. I long for the moment to put my head on your chest as you sit there reading your book about the language of cranes. The times lived of your youth as an Alpha Dog ,, the urgence of the moment and the intensity of what was too happen next,, the bloodshed , the suffering, your survival and death within arms reach sitting next to you like an invited guest.The hollowness leaves a stark contrast to what you have become.Upon my return from walking I observe Magnolia asleep all the while jetting an eye at her carnirverous bone. Even the wind has taken a pause to rest as its sighs, the room seems colourless as I gaze across the way. Everything seems to have taken a cessation ,a temporary stop,the clocks become silent and oblivious to the hours. I sense your quieteness as you gently turn the pages with hardly a motion of movement. I cherish this listlessness of nonthinking, the incurosity of my mind has been put to rest. The intimacy between us together is such a truism. A smile breaks the serenityof my interior stillness, our eyes meet and recognize an obvious truth of what we feel within this tranquilled force of what we know without a spoken word being said. Alpha Male

2 Years To Go

As this holiday season comes upon us , we all have different feelings about how the year has been and what awaits us all in the New Year 2010. I look back for a glancing moment and realize that there have been wonderful and memorable episodes and chapters. Then there has also been the difficult unrehearsed roles that I have had to play on the stage of human disorder. I do not ask to be nominated for best male actor in a leading role. As I did not audition for the part I shall let those more apt take the bow at the curtain call. I have been glorified and defrocked all in the same year.. accomplishments appreciated by some and scorned by others,, yet as I contimplate the future I have but the luck of the Irish on my side. New acquaintences and new found friends have uplifted my spirits and put me on higher ground. I see beyond the hills whence comes my gratitude. Sharing of lives lived and new adventures to unfold has given me yet another reason to look forward to Christmas and New Years as a joyous occasion to share my humility in thanking each and everyone one of you for the role you play in my life on the stage of Earth. May your Christmas and New Years eclispe the profound spirit of human kindness and peace on Earth and good will to you all and yours. May your wish on that shining star of Bethleham guide you to where you want to go and who you endeavour to be. As someone dear to me stated,, " I have 2 years to go "

The Unknown

I turned the night in my bed as if my corpse was in a casket on an unguided ship cast in a storm of doubt ,, hesitation,,,,,,,,, everything is black inside and out. I feel lifeless and do not know if I am alive or is it just a dream.I have yet but a sense of starkness doubt that has taken its place. Hollow halls beckon me as if my soul no longer beats,,,, the will to find peace has fallen by the wayside.. I seem to be the only person invited to this reception of no return. I see nothing ,I feel nothing, my whole self has abandoned ship and left me to whither in this despair of emptiness. The emotional faucets have been turned off,, I am all alone and I am forced to accept that no one can help me . How did I end up on this course ? Youth, success, beauty,, I followed all the rules, read every instruction , followed the rules of the game ,consumed all the ingredients ,,,,,,what has happened to my spirit,,, I recognize nothing,, the paintings on the walls are of despair,,,,,,,, I arrive at the end of this dark and eery way and hesitate to continue and then an unrecognizable voice softly says welcome to "The Unkown"...

If You Only Knew

Here, now and thereafter,,, you have permeated the wall of no return, the choice has been made,,,I shall not depart from this urgency of the unknown that I desperately long for,, your words linger on ,, the intensity of your thrust weakens me,,, the foundations start to give way as I try to escape from the grasp of your awakening spirit,, you have left me defenseless as I search for a refuge,,,your forces have captured me as I am a willing prisoner,, I have fallen prey to your seductive whims,,, I feel your breath on my neck as you walk behind me taking a moment to verify the prize,, I say to you "what is this world coming to things are not the same anytime the hunter gets captured by the game " I set the trap and have fallen into your lair ,,,struggling to be free once again you put your arms around me and pierce the skin of my neck suddenly I become weak as you draw all life out of me as I slowly fall you then pick me up and lay me down and place your body on top of mine,,, you look into my eyes and I smile ,,,,, if you only knew.........

Annus Horribilis , Encore

As the leaves fall and the colours of the Canadian Thanksgiving give way to a November triste of greys and hollow feelings. Looking around me I observe the bland faces of certain peoples. After much obsevation the verdict is in. My family of friends are living hellish moments. Clara, Geoff, myself and others,we have experienced and are living these moments of anguish. Kindness is a heavy price to pay, but we are naive and as I say " the choices we made then,,we live the consequences now. The darkness has yet to englobe us completely, we galantly keep our chin up while building a wall to keep out all intruders. The notion that all is lost is but a fleeting thought quickly extinguished by my perserverance. The storm has ravaged our human landscape leaving collateral damage in view. The meaning of " You are going to want to tend your garden very closely"becomes ever so pertinent. The look of Geoff as I see in his eyes leaves me with a sense of hope as we shall overcome this episode of the unknown moment. The clouds will dissapate and the blueness of the horizon will prevail leaving us all with good fortune. I myself shall not change my ways but rest assured that a lesson has been learned. In the upcoming seance " the luck of the Irish "has become the battle cry. My chosen family has suffered but we become stronger and appreciate the fondness of the other, for without each other there is no reason. Yes this has left deep wounds yet our scars will heal. I look up to the sky and clutch a special prayer card given to me recently and say "It has been an Annus Horribilis " now let the games begin. Merci for one and all my chosen family and to you,,Alpha Dog

If You Wish Upon a Star

The sky to-day is blue and neary a star insight. I dance across the clouds as Angels nearby are playing hide-and-seek. I lazily at one point rest my head on your torso and close my eyes as you slowly brush your fingers on my skin. In the near distant I hear the gigiling of the Angels as they blushingly scamper to hide behind a wall of condensation. After a moment I decide to rise and stretch out my arms and in front of me standing is my sister who I had not seen after her passing. I start to cry as tears of joy stream down my face. She tells me that she is well and that she has been decorating heavenly rooms for newly arrived clients. Instead of taking a vacation she had sent me a visitors pass for a few days but warned me that I must not overstay my welcome as my name has not even been put on the waiting list as a future residant. I gaze into her eyes and can see that aging has not taken its toll at all. I ask many questions to catch up on her news and also she inquires about how are parents doing. Michelle tells me that she must leave soon as there is choir practice for the Angels and their is one song that she is practicing and will sing it to me later in the day. We leave our seperate ways promising each other that at nightfall we shall once again be together. I decide to take a walk across the heavens and I gaze across an endless stream of pearly whites that seems to never stop. After walking for what seemed to be forever we decided to lay our heads on a passing cloud and closed our eyes. I then heard rumbling in the background and to my amazement I saw passers by who I seemed to recognize but neither did they stop but waved looking happy and at peace, I felt a warmth engulf me something that I never felt before, I said to myself is this what the holy spirit feels like as the last person went by. I then realized that time had quickly gone by and I did not want to miss seeing Michelle again. Upon my return I saw all the Angels grouped together and the trumpets started to blare and stars started to eclat everywhere. It was like witnessing fireworks but even more impressive. They started to hum and then she stepped away and stood in front of me once again and started to sing these words " If You wish upon a star, I will bring it where you are, if you want me too,I will. Once again tears rolled down my cheeks as she radiantly smiled and kept singing. I am now back home but every time time I look up at the sky I hear her singing once again, " If You Wish Upon a Star .

If Only We Would Have Been On That Island

The what if of time hovers around me as time goes by. I have yet to find the solace of my yearnings. Yes there are moments and times that I feel just maybe it has arrived. Another deception awaits me how naive could I be. The gods must be amused at my once again failure. I can only watch as others seem to be together as one, what is there secret what must I do. I guard my independence jealously and scoff at those who are interdependent. The hipocrosy of my actions do not coincide with how I would want to be. As the minutes of life tick forward I realize that just maybe you are the one. Is this for real or is it just a mirage a shadow of a flirting moment. The winds of my spirit pass through you and have hopefully left their mark. My heart no longer beats but races wildly and has joined the race. A warmness penetrates me and I begain to sweat as beads of water rolls down my torso following the lines and curves of my body. Your skin glides along mine as if we were one,,, euphorie engulfs us and we penetrate through the surface to an other level, the monster roars with great might and sheer delight . The next morning we awake almost lifeless we have vampired our mind ,body and souls to each other. "If only we could have been on that island,,,,,, things would have been so different ".

Tend To Your Garden

As the time clips by and we see for a fleeting moment the hopes and dreams that are just out of our grasp, we then realize how much this very second counts for so much. I no longer think of what could be actually but more so my present state of a situation. I cannot project how it will be later as at this time I can only sustain my present awareness of how I am. The emotions have been put on a missle launch waiting for someone to press the button. The invasion of my most innerself has been pierced and now I am slowly loosing my strength. The SOS is not seen as my vision has been blurred by the constant bombardement of emptiness. The pain of deception has snatched the desire to explore like a thief in the night. I can only save myself from this destruction of unwanted battle grounds. The sirens are ringing alerting me to yet another wave of blitzkrieg. The scores of victims is countless and yet we seem to be oblivious to our often self inflicted wounds. I wait to see how high the toll rates will be. The only way to survive is take control of my situation as Alexandra Spaulding once said." Your going to want to tend your garden very closely."

Moribund

Sombre, noirceur, lifeless, what are we going to do? Many of us seem to be in a state of dispair as we see all around us the ever changing landscape. The news of people and yes friends losing their jobs, living quarters and lifestyles is becoming a daily illness. We all seem to be a witness of this state of despair. Stress has become a guarded enemy that follows each and everyone of us. The clouds announcing a storm seems to be hovering just above like a bride inwaiting. The pangs of painful and wrenching morose has now become the uninvited suitor. The sheer weight of all of this has left deep scars inside that may leave lasting wounds. Indeed we are unable to think clearly at this moment, sleeping has become a prison and even putting down words has no meaning of sense. The patient is being led away in a state of Moribund.

The Colours of the World.

After talking to a lovely couple ,she being asian and himself being white anglo saxon of british stock I felt that the times are ever so changing. A habit of mine is too read the New York Times and go through every section and then by curiousity I stop to look at the Wedding section. It is interesting to see that we as a people are gravitating towards more diversity as the world seems to be on each one of our doorsteps. The intermingling of cultures and ethnicity are becoming blurred. As I think back to my dating days I can remark that I was seeing different peoples of a cross section like a handmade quilt. This is most reassuring to see that we have as people have become less conscious about how love is meant to be sameness. Today less people stare at a racially mixed couple than only a few years ago. We as a society are more learned about the richness of difference and have embraced this newfound fabric of society. I for one believe that these changes are strong symbols that announce that we are breaking down barriers of culture and customs. This I feel is most positive as what is more stronger than a professed love for your loved one no matter where they are from or their beliefs. This message tells us that feelings for each other is far more powerful than rules of conformity. When I see people together of different stripes I break out often in a smile to acknowledge that how pleasing it is to see love conquring all. The evolution of mankind is contributing to paint a beautiful tapestry with the colours of the World.

Expectations ?

As the year 2009 unfirls before our eyes a refreshing breeze of tradewinds has begun to swirl and dance joyously about. The world listens attentively as spoken words begin to be heard. The eyes of a sea of people are all rivited toward the center of the universe. A silence engulfs the maze of peoples as they all try to be a witness to history. The chords of music jump about as though nymphs were trying to play hide and seek. Anticipation grows abounds as the word is finally spoken. Tears of joy drop as if the lands had been parched and needed to be drenched. The heavens open up as Angels blow their trumpets to the announcement that a new day has begun. The swelling of emotions can know longer be contained as an eruption of ectasy spills over the sides and continues to sweep everything in its path. The euphoria of the moment has taken on an allure of a worldwide tnusami. This promised moment had been predicted time before and now all are here to participate in the changing spirit of hope and new found energy to go forward. All eyes are on him but also ourselves as we say " Yes We Can ". The time is now and the Expectations ?