Annus Horribilis=Annus Mirabilis

Other than myself someone of Royal stature said at least one of these revered words in a speech. Ah las it indeed has been one of those years where there are events to be remembered and others to be forgotten. This period of the calendar year pushes one to reflect and wonder where it started and where will it end. Every year we hope to achieve more and accomplish yet another aspiring goal. As I look back on this year 2008 I had a chance to be away in other lands and experience behavourial patterns . This time away helped me to nuture my inner soul which had been badly battered by a man made inflicted storm. I seemed to be listless and without direction caught in the fog of a self propelled dilemma .Being away forced me to lay on the physcological couch and analyse layer by layer who ,why and when will it stop. The curtains in the room where flowing as if wanting to cradle me in my childhood state. I layed there knowing that only I could find the answers to open the door and get on with my responsibilities. After much contemplating of finger pointing I saw in the mirror a reflection of the guilty culprit. As he tried to escape I kept the key and refused to open the door. A familiar face indeed I remarked as he trembled and started to sweat. You shall not leave this place until we settle our score. As he paced the floor not knowing what to do nor say, I arose from my deep sleep and felt the tropic air blowing on my brow as the curtains wiped the sprinkles of water from my forehead. I then decided to go and take a walk along the boardwalk once again and watch as if the waves of the Ocean carried with them chapters of my last lived year and like a short film traces and images of myself seemed to reflect from the waters surface, indeed there were the difficult moments but also a year of wonderful had won the day. I continued to accompany the waves along as if we were partners of life. The sounds of whispering rang in my ears as a smile of joy became apparent I began to speak ever so softly, "Looking back on this year has been at times Annus Horribilis but since meeting you the trumpets roar of a reigning Annus Moribilis.

Chaos and the Human Spirit

I have been here in South Beach for awhile and it seems like the Cirque de Soleil which actually is here seems to follow. The morning sun rises and I walk briskly along the boardwalk as human souls walk, run and push baby carriages along the way. I observe through sun glasses the circus like atmosphere that parades along the boardwalk and ocean front. The sounds of faded music of I-Pods hardly diminishes the pounding waves from the ocean. Each one of us here has our agenda put out and up front. We take in the morning moistured air as a friendly welcome and quickly take note of the heightened activity that now joins the dispersed flock.The morning herd now begins to grow as more decide to join in. As I walk the ever changing sounds become more apparent as the vibrations of feet announce yet another soul. This much needed ritual of morning paces prepares me for a daunting day of once at work where to begin. I have been here before and once again nothing stays the same. All the actors have left the stage and now what remains are only the stage hands. My mind thought once again reminds me that I am stil here on the boardwalk and not yet at work. After a certain time this episode draws to a nigh. I now must face chaos and the human spirit.

My name is Geoff

My special friend.His eyes are childlike and painfully seek acceptance. The smile radiates across the club becoming an addiction. The laughter so innocent yet hiding a deeper secret. When he arrives you sence his presence,it is as if without him there is something lacking. His generosity is unmeasurable and at times almost a death wish. I observe nervously his every move and when out of sight too long I become anxious. It is hard not to love him but yet there are those who will suffocate him. Longing to be responsible for their happy moments has been a terrible price to pay.I feel his disappointment of the callous behaviour by his subjects.The songs that he sings are lived wounds and also healing messages. One can feel his warmth and tenderness yet it has cost him. As evening comes to a nigh and the sounds of the human species becomes a wimper everyone leaves a good-bye in every direction. There is Geoff and myself left in the midst of a room once filled but now empty. We hug and kiss and say tomorrow knowing that another night waits for us like a woman in waiting.I walk and let my shadow lead me to my destination knowing that soon my special friend will soon walk by my side as our shadows converse and his shadow will say to mine , My name is Geoff.

I Am Free

The last few weeks have been most hectic and I at times have had difficulty in staying focused. Million of thoughts running about loosely in all directions. I would be there in the present but unhinged about my awareness. People would address me but I would not really be present. I seemed to be distracted and felt a certain emptiness. I remember my sister Michelle who died so suddenly and not having a chance to say au revoir. I yearn to have her once more by my side. You cannot find peace if you do not live life. Yet I do believe it is possible not be happy and still not be happy about it. It is important to recognize these moments of troubled waters as they do eventually leave like an uninvited guest whos name is not on the guest list. My parents have gone away on a trip for a week and for some reason I miss talking to them on the phone. I love to hear the laughter of my parents when we are discussing a subject on the phone. There are moments when I think that the time clock is advancing and one day shall be their last. I feel that they are my children that I must watch over and not knowing what hotel they are staying at is quite annoying, I shall scold them. I do have a certain peace of mind and I am quite blessed to have the respect and fraternity of my fellow dear friends and wonderful family. Each day is another gift to cherish and discover yet pleasant moments. Like a cloudy day that has overstayed its welcome the sun shines once again to joy and laughter of families and friends conversing to each other. The demon of despondency will flee to other peoples and other places. I am free.

Oh Canada !! !! !! !! !! !!

Well to-night is going to be a miracle waiting to happen. As the world waits with bated breath for the outcome of the presidential election. I feel that a sense of euphoria has swept the consciousness of the American citizen. They have thrown off there cloak of disillusion and have decided to no longer live in the bowels of fear and deception. We all want to believe in our Governments but in the last decade there has been a decaying of trust. We as Canadians look at our political family as a collective rights and not individual rights. The structure of Canada has been to govern to all and support the social fabric that makes this country. Our society has made gains in womens rights, gay marriage, abortion, socialized health care, always respecting the Canadian Charter of Rights and Liberties .Issues that are hotly contested in United States are non issues in Canada. We are a society that has always looked at the person and not the colour, we have progressed and often Canada has been complimented for its role in World affairs as peace keepers. Gazing across the Canadian landscape we feel a wind of change blowing . The north to the south, east and west. The compass needle is spinning pointing towards the Potomac river. This is history in the making my mother says, destiny. In Canada we feel a nervous twinge hoping to be a witness in some small way to our sisters new suitor. Hands are reaching outstretched across the globe towards the New Continent. The people will have spoken and turn towards us to say " We did it " as tears of joy tumble from their cheeks, Obama the next President of the United States, it is 18:56 pm and I predict and say with joy it will be, and say with swelled emotion Oh Canada !

Fraternity among Men,,

If ever watching a sports match live in person at a stadium or arena, you will not just be looking at two teams opposing each other but much more. The history of sport has many qualities that represent the functioning of society. There is a someone who is a leader on the field for each team. After there is a coach who gives instructions to the team leader and these are put into action as the coach observes what is happening on the playing field. The players are executing different skills in each assigned role. The sociale role of each one is too recognize and put forth his talents in order to help his side accomplish victory. In breaking down the philisophical tissue of the sports team structure you will see that in order to function and claim victory there must be a recognition of respect and fraternity between each other. It is like two countries defending their beliefs and honour, one will win and one will lose. Another comparison is two political parties that try to put their message out to the spectators, one political party will win and one will lose. In war you will have two opposing armies each using manouveres to outsmart the other in order to claim invincibility. Looking at how we as human beings behave even in business work teams, there is always a leader and the team that works together to achieve success. All throughout history there has been a social structure of who does what, what role we play, on what side are we on. In order to continue and prosper and move forward up the ladder of accomplishment we use our sense of wanting to belong and find ourselves in groups of people brought together to express our confidence in one another to be a team.In any role ther will be the Alpha as there will be Beta and Omega even in a prison ward,have you ever noticed even in going out at night and meeting girls or boys there is the Alpha Male who will take charge as the pack around him will dilgently stand in the background supporting the Alphas every move. Whether it be sportif, social, adminstrative, gouvernement there has to be a leader the domiant one ,, he who takes charge. Respectful of each ones pecking order is essential,,This is what I call the fraternity among men.

Yes, I Believe In Miracles

As we live our lives and try to live a good life, we cannot predict what may happen along the way. Looking into the crystal ball is not a sure way to know the future. The daily surprises of what could have been are not always a welcome suitor. The tribulations of the depressed, the neglected, the unwanted, lowly appreciated or even scorned are the invisible and untouchables that we no longer notice. The fragility of the human spirit is at its lowest as we feel more and more isolated from what our purpose is as human beings. The problems of health, finance, exclusion, grow more and more. Where do we start, how does it begin? I have found that each morning before work I like to lite a a few candles at the Notre Dame Basilica to say thank-you to God for this time and ask for guidance and help that I may make good choices and to help all in need. This time of prayer and candles to me is a way to connect to the human spirit. I am not a religious person but more of a spiritual person, lord knows that I like to be happy when out at night into the early morning. My life is not always easy, some due to my lack of good judgement or being naive and yes even stubborn. Yet I have have been able to lead a prosperous life and I do try to give back. Looking back at times I could say there have been " annus horibilis " in my life but also " annus mirabilis " where only because of a miracle could this take place. I will continue to embrace life and hope to grow as a responsable human being taking in the graces of this wonderful yet sometimes painful existence. If I did not feel that there is more to life I would be listless with no direction. We all wonder at one point where does it start and where does it end. Looking through the annals of time I have been a witness to direct intervention from above and at times this has been close to home, I shall say no more but yes I believe in miracles.